Dear Nick,
I still find myself struggling to believe that you’re gone.
Even weeks later, it doesn’t seem real. I keep thinking about all the years that have passed since you first came into our lives, and how none of us could have imagined this would be the way your story would end.
You came into our family through my sister, but over the years you became so much more than that. To my children, you were Uncle Nick. You were part of their lives, part of our memories, part of our family.
I keep replaying moments in my mind and wondering if there was something you were carrying that none of us could see. I wish you had known how many people loved you. I wish you had known that whatever darkness you were fighting, you didn’t have to fight it alone.
What hurts the most is knowing that the pain you felt must have been overwhelming. I hate that you reached a point where you believed there was no other way forward. I wish you had stayed. I wish you had given tomorrow one more chance.
Your child will grow up hearing stories about you. Your name won’t disappear. The people who loved you will remember the laughter, the conversations, the memories, and the place you held in our lives. You mattered here. You still matter.
I think about your mom and your sister often, and my heart breaks for what they have endured. I think about your child, and the milestones you’ll miss. I think about everyone who loved you and is now left trying to make sense of something that feels impossible to understand.
I don’t have answers to the questions your passing left behind. I don’t know why this happened. I only know that I am grateful for the years we knew you and that I wish the ending had been different.
Thank you for being part of our lives. Thank you for the memories.
You were loved more than you knew.
Until we meet again,
Jenni